


Death is Here and He's Got Porn

by YourIdiotWriter



Series: Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: POV Second Person, but then ended up not being crack whoops, surprisingly not crack despite the premise, the idea definitely started as crack though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8359204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourIdiotWriter/pseuds/YourIdiotWriter
Summary: Death isn’t quite what you expected.((Prompt fill for the Sumigakure Halloween Event 2016))





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #2: Modern Grim Reaper

Over the course of thousands of years, across billions of people, countless theories on what death is like has been speculated. Some of them describe paradise for those who deserve it, and endless suffering for those who don’t. Others believe in reincarnation, or that it’s like an endless dream. Many believe that it is simply nothing at all. None of these theories, however, ever mentioned being greeted by a masked man reading porn.

“Maa… You look a little disappointed. Don’t tell me you expected white lights and a choir,” he murmurs, idly turning the tatter page with care.

The cover is worn away and its colour was faded, but you can just make out the red outline of a no symbol. You notice how the corners are frayed and how the spine is creased, and wonder how long he’s had the book for - how many times he must have read it already.

The man is looking right at you, and you immediately feel that there’s something about his expression that makes you think he’s holding something back.

You shake your head. You weren’t expecting a welcoming party, but you also weren’t expecting...whatever this is.

“Do you have any questions?” he asks, turning his attention back to the small, orange book resting in his hand.

You have plenty, you think, but you don’t know where to begin, nor are you sure if any are worth asking. The most you know is that you died, and now you’re here. Wherever this is.

You feel like you’re standing on solid ground, but can see no sign of there being any solid ground. Everywhere around you is dark and endless, but you can still see the man despite the fact that the only source of light appears to be far, far off into the distance, like a star, or a distant galaxy.

After a moment of silence, his half-lidded eyes flicker up at you, as though he’s waiting for something. A reply.

You ask the man if he’s Death. He shakes his head in return.

“Hmm...not quite. I’m more like a guide. Just call me Kakashi,” he says with a smile, tilting his head ever so slightly as he looks you over.

You ask if there’s something wrong, and he shakes his head again.

“No, nothing. You just remind me of someone I used to know.”

He doesn’t elaborate, leaving you to curious about who you reminded him of - perhaps a friend, or a lover? You wonder if Death could even have lovers. Ah, right, he said he wasn’t really Death, but rather...a guide?

You wonder what he meant by that, and if there was somebody else in charge of...whatever this place is. He should probably be doing a better job of explaining what’s going on, you think. You decide to ask him about it - if there’s anybody else to meet and about where you are - because that way you can at least say that you tried.

“It’s just me,” Kakashi answers, disinterested. “And this,” he says, gesturing haphazardly at the surrounding darkness, “is Purgatory.”

The word takes you by surprise and you flinch, unsure of how to respond. Does that mean you’ll be stuck here forever? You ask this, too, because you’d rather not. It’s kind of bland and depressing, being surrounded by nothing.

Kakashi laughs, short and quiet. “Don’t worry, you just need to reach that light over there. Moving on is surprisingly literal that way.” He gestures for you to follow. “The walk can be rather long, depending, so let’s get going.”

You question the uncertainty of the distance, and Kakashi rubs the back of his neck as he considers how to respond.

“Some people take longer to move on than others, depending on how hung up they are about their death. I hope, for your sake, that you come to terms with it soon.” He offers you a gentle smile, and you nod in return.

Come to terms. You take a moment to think about it for a moment - your death, that is, and wonder if it was possible to come to terms with a death you’ve forgotten. Maybe it will come back after a bit of walking, you think.

As if reading your mind, Kakashi starts walking just then and you match his pace, walking side by side in silence for a few silent minutes until you decide to make smalltalk. The path seems endless and infinite, and you aren’t sure if you’re even moving, so there’s probably a lot of time to kill, you think. You mention that you noticed he didn’t ask for your name, or about anything regarding your death. That kind of stuff seems important, you point out.

“It’s not as important as you’d think,” he says, eyes still trained on the creased pages of his book. “Think of this time as a time for self-reflection.”

You nod, even if you don’t completely agree. Since information about you is irrelevant, and since the light doesn’t look like it’s getting any closer, you ask him to tell you about himself, instead.

“Me? There isn’t a lot to say...” he murmurs, trailing off as he looks up into the darkness above in thought. Eventually, he looks back at his book and says, “I don’t have any particular likes or dislikes. Normally I’d talk about dreams for the future, but that’s kind of irrelevant in here. I used to have a lot of hobbies, but now the only things to do, really, are reading and walking. Although...you could say I enjoy meeting new people.”

He glances towards you and flashes a lazy smile at this. You return it instinctively, eyes locking briefly before his mask catches your gaze. You ask why he wear it, and he tugs on it with his free hand.

“Force of habit, I suppose. I used to be a surgeon.”

You furrow your brows at this, because that implied a number of things. Namely, that he wasn’t always one who resided in Purgatory.

He goes back to reading his book. Your gaze follows, settling on the open pages of the small book and catching a glimpse of the sensuous words printed on them. Your stare for a long while, wanting to ask about the book, but not knowing how. He answers your question before you can even ask it.

“I have other books, too,” he says, and out of seemingly nowhere, materializes a device that you’re certain is a Kindle. “I just like this one the most. I’ve had it since the beginning.”

You find it weird that you don’t have your phone with you anymore, even though the Purgatory tour guide has a Kindle. Surely it must have come from the real world. You want to ask about it, but you’re instead much more curious about that last thing he said, about the beginning. What beginning?

“Hmm...did I say that?” Kakashi asks rhetorically, tilting his head in thought and he tucks his Kindle away again. He shrugs. “Those who pass by normally don’t stay for this long. Do you happen to have any deep regrets that might be keeping you here?”

You pause for a moment in thought before shaking your head. Nothing comes to mind, and Kakashi hums thoughtfully, but says nothing. He avoided answering your question by turning the attention back to you again, you notice, but decide to play along. It has been a while since you started walking, and nothing is changing, so you’d might as well get some answers, you think. It’d be nice to know why you were in Purgatory, anyway. It’s a little unnerving.

“Well, it’s not too unusual. It’s only in very rare cases that people really get stuck here, and once they’ve realized they’re stuck, they don’t tend to stick around.”

You ponder this for a moment while staring at Kakashi long and hard as an idea dawn upon you.  You wonder what those rare cases are and ask.

“Maa, some people just can’t accept that they’re dead, or that they still have something left to do. Others are waiting for someone, or something.”

You ask him if that’s why he’s here, and he pauses, his next step slow and distracted as he looks past his book and at darkness below.

You ask him how long he’s been waiting, and he stops, snapping his book shut with one hand.

You stop as well and eye him carefully, wondering if he’s upset or annoyed. When he eventually glances at you, you find that he is neither. He simply is.

“I’m waiting for a friend,” he says finally, looking towards faint light in the distance. It’s tripled in size, but it still isn’t much. “It’s been…a while, and every so often someone else would come by, so I started helping those people find their way around.”

You nod solemnly, wondering how long “a while” was. You hope that you don’t stick around long enough to find out. You tell him you hope his friend comes soon.

He smiles, and for the first time, you notice how tired he looks.

There’s no time to comment on it, however. The light grows stronger - so strong that it feels like it’s about to engulf you, and within a matter of moments, you’re sure it will.

“Well, looks like it’s time for you to go on ahead,” Kakashi says, gesturing towards the light. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. You might want to cover your eyes a bit, though.”

You feel a warmth filling you from within, urging you to step towards the light. It really is literal, you think.

Before you take your final steps in Purgatory, however, you look back at the man who graciously kept you company to say goodbye. He watches you with a pleasant smile, you realize just then why something about his expression caught your attention when you’d first arrived. He said that you looked disappointed, but you weren’t. He was.

He was expecting his friend.

But before you can say anything about it, the light pulls you in, and he’s gone.

How sad, you think. You never even got to tell him your name.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had the title and the first paragraph of this stupid idea sitting in my drafts for almost two years so ty for giving me incentive to actually finish it LOL idek what this is about but I experimented with 2nd POV so that was fun ty for that :D
> 
> @[sumigakure](http://sumigakure.tumblr.com/) on tumblr is a new Naruto fanfiction blog for people to suggest prompts and for writers to take them up, so if you're looking for ideas or fics, I highly recommend checking it out!


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